Halloween- when we unleash our fantasies and desires

The past weekend was an eventful one- it was Halloween weekend.  In total, I went to four parties - GAPSA (Graduate and Professional Student Association) party at Voyeur Night Club for all Penn grad students on Thursday, Penn Outdoors Halloween BYOB social on Friday, a houseparty with other GSE students, followed by the Penn Running Club party on Saturday.  It was a wonderful time.  Besides having the opportunity to dress up as whatever character I want, it was a chance to unwind, to let go of usual inhibitions, and just be carefree for a few days, and, of course, to dance to my heart's content.

I came across an interesting article: a counseling take on Halloween, and thought I'd like to share it.

Who Will You Be This Halloween?
by Ricky Hornblass, Ph.D.  October 31, 2011

Today is Halloween—the day that you can be anyone or anything you want to be. Tonight, anyone who feels weak and ineffective can become a superhero. Someone who is insecure about his/her physical appearance can dress up like a supermodel. Anyone who is unsuccessful at work can become Donald Trump for a day.

It is important to remember, however, that it’s not about what costume we are wearing to tonight’s party but what’s stopping us from becoming the people we aspire to be every other day of the year? One common irrational belief that may stand in the way of our self actualization is low frustration tolerance. Many of us know where we want to go and where we want to end up but we have a hard time putting in the emotional and physical work necessary to get us there. We often tell ourselves that it will be too hard, I won’t be able to do it, or I will do it tomorrow. It’s much easier to put on a costume than to do the work necessary to accomplish what we would like to achieve.

Another common irrational belief that can get in the way of us achieving our goals is awfulizing about the prospect of failure. Many times when we think about the things we would like to accomplish, we quickly begin thinking about the possibility that we may not succeed. Very often the very possibility of failure is enough to discourage us from pursuing our goals. We tell ourselves, “I may as well not try because if I do and then fail then that would be awful.”

Finally, our lack of self acceptance often prevents us from trying new things and putting ourselves in positions where we are unsure as to how we will perform. We are so uncomfortable with our perceptions of ourselves and our perceived shortcomings that we are afraid to face an experience that may very well confirm our negative impressions of ourselves.

So, tonight when we become someone else for a few hours we should stop and ask ourselves, “What aspect of this person’s character, life experiences, circumstances, personality, etc. do I want to incorporate into my own and what’s stopping me from doing so?” What can I tell myself in the future that will enable me to achieve my goals? How can I accept myself as I am today, while taking the steps necessary to achieve what I would like to accomplish? Who knows, maybe next year people will be dressing up like you?

So bringing this back to the context of my Halloween experience... On Thursday night, I dressed up as Lara Croft.  On Friday night, I dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood (there's not any reason behind this, only that I was going to a restaurant for dinner before the Halloween event, I was cold, and I happened to have several red wool dresses and coats).  On Saturday night, I dressed up as a ninja warrior.

Why Lara Croft and ninja warrior?  I guess you can probably already see a common theme running through -- both epitomize strength and yet femininity at the same time.  Both celebrate the strength (and of course the sexiness) of women.  And I guess that's what I really want to be -- a woman who is able to hold her own against men, and not lose her identity as a woman at the same time.  A proud, strong woman who loves being a woman.

What about you?  What do you want to be and why?  There's always next Halloween.  And of course, there's always tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and...an entire life for you to work towards becoming who you want to be; it doesn't (and shouldn't) have to be just Halloween.